Life is made of choices. We've all heard this statement at one time or another, but to me It's not just a saying — it's a way of life. I learned at a very young age that our choices determine the successes that we achieve in our lives. Living in a state of blame for the challenges you've faced will not benefit you in any way . Luckily, you have the opportunity to transform from a victim to a victor, and catapult yourself into the life you desire.
I have turned the unfortunate circumstances I experienced as a child into a method of encouraging others, aiding those in need in the pursuit of finding confidence and strength. I am one of many who have been faced with traumatic circumstances. My passion lies in reaching out to those who can relate, and encouraging them to heal from the inside out. The result? A strong, empowered person that will change the world.
My childhood was peppered with domestic, drug, emotional and mental abuse. I survived countless nights of watching my mom endure beatings, can recall multiple parental kidnappings, have experienced homelessness on more than one occasion and could recount stories of the effects of drug abuse for hours. These experiences have given me the ambition I needed to move towards success by living limitlessly. I refuse to repeat the cycle..
Every night of my childhood was the same story of my parent's meeting up at a bar, an event that would result in my dad following my mom home, then provoking the fight that would carry on throughout the night. I would spend this time tucked in the corner of a closet, covered with anything I could find to avoid hearing the abuse against my mother. Following soon there after, a kidnapping that I knew was coming would occur. After baHering my mom until she could no longer fight back, my dad would discover my location and steal me away yet again. We would then find a place where the police would not find us, and spend the remainder of the night sleeping in his car. Although I was only a second grade child, I vividly remember wondering how a person could allow the repetetive abuse that peppered my mother's life. At such a young age, I noticed the repetition in the choices that led to that same situation each night.
Eventually my mom did get the courage to leave my dad, but she continued the same cycle of abuse. She entertained many relationships that resulted in physical beatings in the front yard. I remember shoving her in ditches to prevent her from being run over by the abusive men in her life. This continued into the teen years of my life. Not only was I experiencing the physical abuse in my mother's life, I was also watching as every adult and potential role model in my life abused every drug you can imagine. It was never out of the ordinary to come home from school and see lines of coke on the table and piles of weed on the counter. Looking back, seeing them as so dependent on this drug gave me a reason to keep as far away from the substances as possible. Their abuse showed me the real results this sort of thing has on a life, and I am thankful to have seen the truth of something so destructive.
As a teenager I was lacking the attention that so many kids need. I had no sense of self worth or self love. To compensate, I turned to alcohol and partying. At the time, it validated me. It made me feel that I was good enough. Little did I know that the repercussions of my decisions were right around the corner. I was sexually assaulted at one point by a male friend and chose to take part in his prosecution, something that was anything but easy in a small town that thrived on the gossip that stemmed from it. Of course, this wasn't quite enough to wake me up. The reality check I needed came along when I became a mother at the age of 16. (In no relation to the sexual assault) Upon learning I was having a girl, I made the decision that we would not be a statistic. I knew I would have to work hard, but the daunting task did not discourage me. I continue to work hard and ensure that this is our truth every day. It's important to me that I am always a great role model by living with self respect and determination.
My story provides a beacon of light to those who feel they have arrived at the darkest corner of their lives. I am living proof that you can single-handedly turn your own life around. I took every negative situation I was dealt in life and turned each of them into motivation and purpose. I made the choice to break the cycle of dysfunction I had come to know as a child and young adult by taking responsibility for all aspects of who I am.
These days, I have ditched the wounded persona and traded it up for the life of a multi-published author and presenter in the field of self development. I use the medium of authorship and speaking to show others that they are not a product of their past. Although we face challenges great and small, I assure you we all have the power to live the life of our dreams by freeing ourselves from painful ruts and demolishing all limitations.
I take personal responsibility for my life in the present. I do not place blame on anyone in my childhood. I look back on it and know I am a stronger person. I am often asked if I could change my childhood, would I? I am always quick to respond with a "no". If I had to go through all of that to become the person I am today, then it was worth it.
I make my choices for me and appreciate the lessons I learned from the life I lived as a child. I have learned to make my choices count and to treat myself with respect and honor and therefore influence and encourage the people in my life to do the same for themselves.
Making the choice to take life on in the drivers seat is up to you. It is easy to watch the world pass by while you are being a victim. Being a victim is the easy way out. removing that personality from your life will give you the opportunity to see the world from a whole new perspective. Each choice you make has an astounding effect of where you are and where you are going in this wonderful journey of life. I have made the choice to work hard and live a life of attracting opportunity. I am now the proud mother of five amazing daughters that defy all odds of a teen mother statistic. I am also living my dreams as a multi-published author and Motivational speaker in the field of self development!
No matter where you have been it is where you are going that really matters. Take the time today and everyday to live limitless.
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